AMA Broken Wife Broken Life! Ex-Wife of The Addicted!

Jenefeness Tucker, MBA
Jun 13, 2018

By the third adulteress affair (between the two of us), he decided it was time for him to move on and marry the side chick. My marriage to him was the bane of my existence and a thorn in my flesh. There was constant competition, arguing, addiction, fighting with varying interest and competing goals. He would always attempt to devalue me and my education. We were undoubtedly unequally yoked. Yet, I would have stayed in it for the sake of covenant.

As a Christian wife, I was taught to believe the "sanctified" wife would one day sanctify the husband. Yet I really wasn't sanctified enough to even attempt to win over his conduct. I didn’t make life any better for him either. I attended every church service instead of attending to him. I tried to turn him into something he wasn’t and I was constantly trying to play the role of the Holy Ghost. I would manipulate him and use guilt to provoke temporary behavioral changes and then shame him when it didn’t last. I showed him very little attention and even less affection.

I was never that into him. I married him for all the wrong reasons and never learned to be a good wife. Despite my attempts to make him feel equal, he never measured up in his mind. So, he would make comments like, “You think that Master’s Degree means something.”, “You may be Book Smart, but you don’t have any Street Smarts”. I think he really wanted a worldlier wife.

In his opinion, I went to church too much, worked too much, read too much, didn’t clean enough, didn’t cook enough, wasn’t freaky enough or pretty enough. The truth became clear that I was either too much and wasn’t enough because he was using unrealistic, manufactured addicted realities based on fictional, pornographic imagery. And he wasn’t my ideal mate because I had fabricated the “perfect man” based on Lifetime Channel and neither of us was willing to humble ourselves and create our own reality. We both walked blindly for just enough time in the marriage and eventually conceded to the inevitable divorce. 

More details in the book - Broken Wife Broken Life at www.jenefeness.com

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If you could speak to your teenager self, what would you tell her?
Jun 18, 12:21AM EDT0
You have so many achievements - which one are you proudest of?
Jun 16, 10:29AM EDT0
Did you just find out that your ex was committing adultery or did he tell you?
Jun 16, 7:06AM EDT0
How did you balance your career and personal life while going through a divorce?
Jun 15, 7:00AM EDT0
Are there any telling signs of drug addiction, especially if one won’t admit he is actually taking drugs?
Jun 15, 6:39AM EDT0
As a very successful career woman, what advice can you give to other women who are still starting out their career journey?
Jun 14, 11:53PM EDT0
When you speak to an audience, do you ever get stage fright?
Jun 14, 10:18AM EDT0
Do you still have a relationship, even just a friendship, with your ex-husband today?
Jun 13, 10:54PM EDT0
Would you say that you became even more successful when you broke up with your ex husband?
Jun 13, 9:34PM EDT0
Why did you not leave after the first affair your ex husband had?
Jun 13, 3:49PM EDT0
Do you regret being that book smart woman that you are? Would you say that you are also street smart?
Jun 13, 2:25PM EDT0

Great Questions!

I have no regrets! In my opinion I am equally book and street smart. I have learned so much in my 42 years of life. I just sometimes allow people to think I am not as smart...

Jun 13, 2:41PM EDT0
How did you get all the courage to speak to others about your personal struggles? Do you ever feel judged?
Jun 13, 1:50PM EDT0

Great question!

My courage came straight from God. I felt unctioned to share because I know others have experienced what I went through and need to be encouraged.

I am constantly being judged to my face and behind my back. I don't let it bother me though. For everyone one person who has a negative opinion of my story about ten people get blessed by it!

The ENcouragement outweighs the DIScouragement!

Jun 13, 2:26PM EDT0
What drove you into writing your very first book? What inspired you to start writing?
Jun 13, 1:36PM EDT1

Great question! I have always been a writer. I started writing when I was five and I would journal and doodle often. When my mommy went to prison I used to write letters to her and writing was a way of escaping for me. It still is actually! I sometimes write myself happy!!

Jun 13, 2:28PM EDT1
Did you have any children with your ex-husband? If so, how did you explain your divorce to them?
Jun 13, 9:34AM EDT0

Jun 13, 2:28PM EDT0

I have two beautiful biological children and a whole host of step-children from multiple blended families. My son was 11 when I married the first time and my daughter was a result of the marriage. 

By the time we actually decided to divorce the writing was on the wall and they each acted differently. We had a toxic home life with all the arguing, bickering, blaming and shaming. We probly should have divorced sooner because our immaturity shaped the way our children view marriage and relationships, which was a little twisted. I explained divorce by letting them know we both still loved them but didn't love one another anymore

Jun 13, 2:33PM EDT0
Most of your books are about business - did you share your story about your failed marriage too in any of your books?
Jun 13, 9:18AM EDT0

Great Question!

The Book - Broken WIfe Broken Life is all about my failed marriages and my upbringing and my encounters that made me who I am today. It especially covers emotional intelligence. Thanks

Jun 13, 2:21PM EDT0
Who is your target audience for your books?
Jun 13, 7:48AM EDT0

Great question!

For Broken WIfe Broken Life, the target audience is a women who is in her mid 30's to late 40's who has made some life-altering mistakes and hasn't quite forgiven herself. She lives with guilt, shame, denial and needs to improve her emtional intelligence and forgive herself.

Jun 13, 7:58AM EDT0
Do you ever have light moments too? What do you do when you’re not busy? Any hobbies or interests?
Jun 13, 6:52AM EDT0

Great question!

I have light moments daily! I take time for me by working out, reading and writing! I manage my time and emotions effectively.

Jun 13, 7:27AM EDT0
Do you ever blame yourself for the divorce? If so, have you already forgiven yourself or your husband?
Jun 13, 3:54AM EDT0

Great question!

I definitely believe I played an equal role in the failure of our marriage. And, yes I have forgiven myself and him. But, it took the longest to forgive myself.

Jun 13, 7:26AM EDT0
How would you describe your faith in God today? Do you ever blame Him for your personal struggles?
Jun 13, 2:36AM EDT0

Great question!

My faith in God is stronger. I believe He knew everything before it happened and He allowed it to happen. I believe that there was warnong before destruction and I didn't take heed to it. I believe God loves me so much that He equipped me to be able to handle everything that has ocured in my life. 

Jun 13, 7:25AM EDT0
What’s the best piece of advice you can share with wives who have addicts as husbands?
Jun 12, 11:18AM EDT0

Great question!Wives, be real! Don't ignore the signs or excuse the behaviors. Get help for you and them! Support without being an enabler.

Jun 13, 7:24AM EDT0
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