AMA Broken Wife Broken Life! Ex-Wife of The Addicted!
By the third adulteress affair (between the two of us), he decided it was time for him to move on and marry the side chick. My marriage to him was the bane of my existence and a thorn in my flesh. There was constant competition, arguing, addiction, fighting with varying interest and competing goals. He would always attempt to devalue me and my education. We were undoubtedly unequally yoked. Yet, I would have stayed in it for the sake of covenant.
As a Christian wife, I was taught to believe the "sanctified" wife would one day sanctify the husband. Yet I really wasn't sanctified enough to even attempt to win over his conduct. I didn’t make life any better for him either. I attended every church service instead of attending to him. I tried to turn him into something he wasn’t and I was constantly trying to play the role of the Holy Ghost. I would manipulate him and use guilt to provoke temporary behavioral changes and then shame him when it didn’t last. I showed him very little attention and even less affection.
I was never that into him. I married him for all the wrong reasons and never learned to be a good wife. Despite my attempts to make him feel equal, he never measured up in his mind. So, he would make comments like, “You think that Master’s Degree means something.”, “You may be Book Smart, but you don’t have any Street Smarts”. I think he really wanted a worldlier wife.
In his opinion, I went to church too much, worked too much, read too much, didn’t clean enough, didn’t cook enough, wasn’t freaky enough or pretty enough. The truth became clear that I was either too much and wasn’t enough because he was using unrealistic, manufactured addicted realities based on fictional, pornographic imagery. And he wasn’t my ideal mate because I had fabricated the “perfect man” based on Lifetime Channel and neither of us was willing to humble ourselves and create our own reality. We both walked blindly for just enough time in the marriage and eventually conceded to the inevitable divorce.
More details in the book - Broken Wife Broken Life at www.jenefeness.com
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